


Midnight

by LittleMissCactus



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissCactus/pseuds/LittleMissCactus
Summary: How a nightmare led to Fingon discovering that Maedhros didn't partake in the burning of the ships after all
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Midnight

It was quite common most nights for Maedhros to lie awake in bed long after Fingon had already fallen asleep. Sometimes it was because of painful memories resurfacing, but some nights, he was simply too lost in his own thoughts to realize how late it was getting. Tonight was one of the latter kinds of nights. Maedhros thumbed at the stump where his right had once was idly as he thought about his schedule for the next day, the diplomats he would have to speak with, the damage his brothers did that he would have to undo, and how grateful he still _had_ brothers in the first place, no matter how many headaches they may cause him. And then there was Fingon. After all that Maedhros had lost, and after all he had done, he was amazed that he still had Fingon in his life. He reached out to gently touch a tightly woven braid, only to pause. Something wasn't right.

“Fingon, my love, wake up,” Maedhros murmured, brushing his palm against Fingon's cheek.

Fingon's eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his brows were furrowed as if in pain. He shook his head and curled closer to Maedhros in his sleep, seeking comfort. Maedhros sighed and gladly obliged, wrapping his arms around Fingon tightly and pressing his lips to Fingon's temple. It was rare for Fingon to get nightmares. Usually, it was him comforting Maedhros.

“Fingon, wake up. It's just a dream,” Maedhros said softly, shaking Fingon slightly as he held him.

Fingon's eyes cracked open and a soft whimper escaped his throat as he made eye contact with Maedhros.

“Nelyo...”

“I'm here, Finno. All is well.”

Fingon shook his head and buried his face in Maedhros's shoulder wordlessly, hot tears soaking through Maedhros's nightshirt.

“Fingon? Do you want to talk about it?”

“I shouldn't,” Fingon whispered.

“Shouldn't? Fingon, you can tell me anything. You know that.” Maedhros played with Fingon's braids absently as he held him, beginning to rock him in his arms.

“It will just upset you, and it won't change the past.” Fingon hiccuped as he spoke, his whole body beginning to tremble. He almost seemed more frightened of talking about it than he was of the actual dream.

Maedhros frowned. “You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But know that nothing you could possibly say will make me love you any less or think any less of you.”

The two of them sat in silence for what felt like an eternity until Fingon finally spoke up.

“It was about the Helcaraxë. There were so many who died. So many who I couldn't save...” Fingon's voice trailed off as a sob overtook him.

Maedhros's heart stopped. He opened his mouth to answer, but his throat was too dry to speak. He swallowed thickly and tried again.

“It wasn't your fault. You couldn't possibly have saved them all. I... I should have stopped him.”

Fingon smiled sadly. “You couldn't have. I know what your father was like. I just...” He hesitated.

“You just...?”

Fingon took a deep breath. “The most painful part is the image that always replays of you burning the ships and knowing what would happen to me. That's all.”

Maedhros jolted, stunned into silence for a moment. Did Fingon not know...? No, of course he didn't. How could he possibly know? But... did it really make any difference? Maedhros hadn't stopped the ships from being burned, so wasn't he just as guilty? _Amrod..._ His heart ached for his brother who he had failed to save. If only he could have been better...

Eventually, he managed to make himself speak. “I... I didn't burn the ships, Fingon. I took no part in that evil affair.”

“Maedhros, you needn't lie to me. I knew what you had done when I told you that I loved you, and I love you all the same now.”

Now it was Maedhros's turn to suppress a sob. “Fingon, I promised you years ago that I would never lie to you. I have kept my promise until now. I have done many evil deeds, but this is not one of them.”

Tears flowed freely from his eyes as Fingon pulled back to look at him carefully. Eventually, he sighed.

“I believe you. Forgive me for doubting you.”

Maedhros shook his head and pulled Fingon close once more. “My dear Fingon. There is nothing to forgive. Besides, it still... I still could have stopped it. If I had only known that Amrod was still on one of the ships, it would have given my father time to come to his senses. I...”

“Stop. You did what you could. Your brother's death was not your fault.”

Maedhros managed a small laugh. “Aren't I supposed to be the one comforting you right now?”

Fingon smiled and touched Maedhros's cheek. “I think we both need comfort. How about some tea and then you can hold me for the rest of the night to make up for it?”

“I think I can do that,” Maedhros murmured as he pulled Fingon into a soft kiss, “Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have you?”

“Every day, my love.”


End file.
